One Year

It has been one year to the date that I found out I was pregnant for the first time (well... not counting Adalynn of course) In this past year I have lost 4 babies.... It really sucks... I swear everyone is pregnant and everyone is happy and I'm sitting here just miserable... I hate this for me... I just want a baby... It isn't fair. I know that right now I need to wait until Jeff is out of college and that really sucks that I now have to wait 4 years.... It just isn't fair and it hurts.. but I can't say that out loud because than I have all those stupid eyes looking at me with pity and sadness and i'm not ready for that.