I feel like I need to start blogging again.. I feel like I've gotten away from it and I need to take it back because well I love it and I feel like I was truly happier getting my feelings out! Granted I also vlog and have group forums that I say a lot in so all my information is spread around to a million places and I think I like that not everyone knows every problem I have .. you know spread the crazy around so that I don't scare everyone off at once =P
Soooo I need to up up up my water intake.. I just want to throw this out here for everyone because I need to! It is just really been wearing on me this weight and thats always a goal is to drink more water and i do awesome and then slack off.. so maybe if i just say it every day i'll do it more! ... or atleast I can hope!!!!
Another thing I just need to mention which i really don't need to mention is that RIGHT NOW in my bedroom it is FREEZING!!!! my everything is shivering and i'm nude of course so its even worse!... but i'm ready for bed so i'm not putting on clothes to sit in my bed until Jeff is done playing his stupid game!!!
Another another thing! Yesterday I posted a comment on Amanda F's Facebook about how i was excited she was trying for another baby and Ashley posted beneath mine like 4 hours later that her and Calvin had been trying for a while for baby number 2 and how difficult it can be trying for a baby but how it is so worth it in the end.. i wanted to throw up and then lose weight and walk by her with my perfectly round and small pregnant belly while holding my perfect daughters hand and just being like 'oh hi! isn't it funny how my life is SOOOOO perfect and how much yours sucks? /giggle!!!" .... ya i know i'm a bitch but atleast i'm being honest!!!
I am working on losing weight.. not my favorite thing to do.. not my most successful thing to do but its something that i HAVE to do!!! I am SICK and tired of being fat!!! I want to be 200 lbs.. and i know most of you people out there are like "200 lbs is still fat" and ya it is.. but I would SOOOO rather be 200 lbs then what I am right now!!!! I could live with myself if I were 200 lbs!!! I would be happy! ... I would want more.. but if I can get to that then I think I would be a hell of a lot better!!!
One thing REGARDLESS of my weight that I need to work on is to be more fun!!! I am just miserable all the time because of my weight and because its just a gloomy time in my life and I need to work on that because I'm a fun person to be around if I want to be and I do! I want to give up my negativity and just be that bad ass that everyone use to know and love!!!! ... ACK I became that person that i hate!!! The frowner!!! Sooooo Tomorrow this ass is going to be jumping around and having fun and dancing to my own drum!!! If i have to find headphones and just listen to music all day long and have my own personal soundtrack then so be it! But i'm just NOT going to sit on the couch and be bored watching tv all day with Jeff!!!! there is so much more to life then sitting in front of the stupid stupid tv!!! And i'm willing to explore it!!!!
Just try to stay focused on the good things in your life! Your daughter and your husband and your super awesome friend Marissa ;)
ReplyDeleteThat advice never works but I figured it was better to at least say what everyone else would tell you regardless.
Move back to FL, we'll become work out buddies together!!!