Sunday, September 23, 2012
[to be or not to be...]
So I am pretty sure I am just in denial at this point either i'm pregnant or have diabetes! with the way I am so ungodly swollen it has to be one or the other unless I really am just to chunky that it will start to come down.. either way i'm not going to the doctor so don't tell me to because i'm not gonna listen! If I'm pregnant I'm having a baby and if I'm diabetic its from being fat so either way i'll be losing some weight and play it by ear! I need to be in denial until after Jeff gets back from training because i just don't have time to deal with it because both are life changing things and i know that! But at this point sorry I'm just busy busy busy!!!! but i wanted to put it out there somewhere in the universe so when i think about it i can look back and say okay on september 23rd she made a comment about it! and my real comment about it is "Ugh my boob hurt today for the first time!!!! "
Saturday, August 25, 2012
[birthday blues]
Jeff is leaving for my birthday AGAIN! I have had the worst birthday's ever.. lets reflect
13 year old -my mom packs up the car, sends my dad to the bar with some money and we leave everyone i've ever known and loved!
14 year old - my dad has regained custody and beats the crap out of me and i end the day filling out police forms and getting pictures taken naked for the record! AWESOME!
a few years of just random birthdays!
19 year old - this one was AWESOME! I got to go to work so that the guy i was covering for could go to his step sisters birthday party because it was more important then my own birthday! .. And Joey threw up in my rice cooker which was my only present
21 year old - Jeff is at basic training and I get to enjoy a nice 21st birthday with his family...
22 year old - Jeff is in Iraq
23 year old - In hospital with eye ulcers
24 year old - Jeff in California
25 year old - Jeff in Afghanistan
.... I f'ing hate my birthday! ... and now i'm going to go cry over how much I hate life!
13 year old -my mom packs up the car, sends my dad to the bar with some money and we leave everyone i've ever known and loved!
14 year old - my dad has regained custody and beats the crap out of me and i end the day filling out police forms and getting pictures taken naked for the record! AWESOME!
a few years of just random birthdays!
19 year old - this one was AWESOME! I got to go to work so that the guy i was covering for could go to his step sisters birthday party because it was more important then my own birthday! .. And Joey threw up in my rice cooker which was my only present
21 year old - Jeff is at basic training and I get to enjoy a nice 21st birthday with his family...
22 year old - Jeff is in Iraq
23 year old - In hospital with eye ulcers
24 year old - Jeff in California
25 year old - Jeff in Afghanistan
.... I f'ing hate my birthday! ... and now i'm going to go cry over how much I hate life!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
this post i am going to post something that i know 99% of you don't care about.. but...
OH MY GOD STOP BEING A CRYBABY AND HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!!! I am SICK of fighting with Jeff over anything and everything and just READY for us to have sex! Like GOOD sex!!! not just this "we have it once every 2 weeks so it lasts all of 30 seconds IF THAT" type of sex" ... i'm talking full on porno status sex lol!!! Either we are fighting or Adalynn is in the way!
I woke up at 3am with Adalynn this morning and then later we fought because of the most stupid things! He is such an ass and I am D-O-N-E with us fighting.. he says I'm bi-polar because I can just turn off an argument and be okay with him.. It's because that is how I've been trained to be! Doesn't he know that since he went to Iraq when you only have a short period of time with someone you just put anger away and then focus on it and deal with it while your spouse isn't there! If i only have 30 minutes a day with you then ya i'm gonna just act happy go lucky even if i'm pissed!
OH MY GOD STOP BEING A CRYBABY AND HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!!! I am SICK of fighting with Jeff over anything and everything and just READY for us to have sex! Like GOOD sex!!! not just this "we have it once every 2 weeks so it lasts all of 30 seconds IF THAT" type of sex" ... i'm talking full on porno status sex lol!!! Either we are fighting or Adalynn is in the way!
I woke up at 3am with Adalynn this morning and then later we fought because of the most stupid things! He is such an ass and I am D-O-N-E with us fighting.. he says I'm bi-polar because I can just turn off an argument and be okay with him.. It's because that is how I've been trained to be! Doesn't he know that since he went to Iraq when you only have a short period of time with someone you just put anger away and then focus on it and deal with it while your spouse isn't there! If i only have 30 minutes a day with you then ya i'm gonna just act happy go lucky even if i'm pissed!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
[procrastination is the best!]
"I'm ridiculously hard on myself" HAHHAHAHAHAHA YOU of all people ;P ha i love it!!!
sooooo anyway I am beyond mad at my spouse because I am TRYING to figure things out like where I want things in the house and how I want to organize everything because I want more open spaces and as of right now I can't stand the computers in the living room because I don't want to see him just sit there all night long not helping.. so i want to isolate him in hopes that he realizes that he is missing out on family time! It is annoying with him on the computer and Adalynn will like run up to him telling her she has to go potty or something and he just 100% ignores her! Ughhhhhh
I'm just so agitated with that boy! I feel like right now we are just borderline roommates and I do everything and he is that nerd boy that hides in his room playing videogames.. Last night my daughter played the lovely game of "hide and seek" with my kindle and I asked for help finding it (all of 10 minutes!) and he FREAKED out and was sooooo pissy that I took away 10 minutes from his game playing time to help me find it.. like really?! suck it up!!!!
anyhoot I better get off here and go vlog about how I worked out on my exercise bike tonight and how that went ;)
sooooo anyway I am beyond mad at my spouse because I am TRYING to figure things out like where I want things in the house and how I want to organize everything because I want more open spaces and as of right now I can't stand the computers in the living room because I don't want to see him just sit there all night long not helping.. so i want to isolate him in hopes that he realizes that he is missing out on family time! It is annoying with him on the computer and Adalynn will like run up to him telling her she has to go potty or something and he just 100% ignores her! Ughhhhhh
I'm just so agitated with that boy! I feel like right now we are just borderline roommates and I do everything and he is that nerd boy that hides in his room playing videogames.. Last night my daughter played the lovely game of "hide and seek" with my kindle and I asked for help finding it (all of 10 minutes!) and he FREAKED out and was sooooo pissy that I took away 10 minutes from his game playing time to help me find it.. like really?! suck it up!!!!
anyhoot I better get off here and go vlog about how I worked out on my exercise bike tonight and how that went ;)
Monday, August 13, 2012
[colorful]
I am in fat person hell! I am so sick and tired of being fat!!! It takes me 20 minutes to get into my workout clothes and then I am out of breath!!! Its a freaking workout JUST GETTING DRESSED!!! do you know embarrassing that is?! Plus i look like a whale and a half in my snazzy bright colorful workout shirt!!! not to mention that the second i got it on guess what? YUP! I have to freaking pee!!!! Oh well!!! I'm holding this until after physical therapy!!! Its in an hour so in about 20 minutes i'll start getting the kids in the car since its 5 minutes away but it takes me so long to get everyone out the door! I swear those kids hate me!!! When i get back i am doing my workout because lets face it if i'm wearing this damn outfit i better atleast get some workout done while my boobs are so secure they are like fort knox lockdown lol!!!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
[hi, i'm fat]
Jeff: Are you okay? You sound out of breath!
Kassie: Ya just drinking some juice!
... but in my mind "I'm f*cking fat! I'm standing on hard cold tile! It f*cking hurts EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF ME to stand for longer then ohhhh I don't know 30 seconds!!!! I literally can't stand for 5 minutes without feeling in pain somewhere... why the hell would you rent a place that has no carpet whatsoever!?!?! My fat feet need a fat break but do they ever get one?! NO!
Kassie: Ya just drinking some juice!
... but in my mind "I'm f*cking fat! I'm standing on hard cold tile! It f*cking hurts EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF ME to stand for longer then ohhhh I don't know 30 seconds!!!! I literally can't stand for 5 minutes without feeling in pain somewhere... why the hell would you rent a place that has no carpet whatsoever!?!?! My fat feet need a fat break but do they ever get one?! NO!
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